Taming Your Negative Critic

Unfortunately, too often we take things personally that aren’t, look for what’s wrong, and critically judge the people around us and ourselves, instead of bringing a sense of love, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and appreciation to the most important (and often most challenging) situations and relationships in our lives. Some of us really can criticize for Africa! We just love to lay emphases on all the things that are going wrong, things that haven't been achieved, the things that could have been, should have been, was meant to be! sometimes that nattering little voice inside that tells us we are deficient and reminds us of our failures aren't just worth a treat...
Don't think too big,
 reach too high,
or be too confident.
That Inner Critic subpersonality sometimes come so strong as a result of our experience and conditioning. It holds the remnants of our parent’s hopes and fears for us and for themselves, our school history, our religious upbringing, and the competitive culture that we live in. This thoughts could be overwhelming sometimes but we can always find a way through it or around it.
 Below are a few defense mechanism you can activate:

• Separate.  It’s a big step to realize that this voice is just a part of you that has its own motivations and world view. That means that you can separate from that part and get some distance from it. You can choose to listen or not listen. You can take control by telling it to “back off” or by deciding to be interested in its underlying intent, rather than being intimidated by its negative prattling. Separation means being grounded in your higher Self.
• Practice accepting yourself exactly as you are. Rather than constantly trying to change your behavior, just practice being mindful. Try to see what underlying needs motivate the behaviors that you hope to change. See if there are other ways you can meet those needs.

• Take the spotlight off of your critic. If you notice your inner critic taking over, consciously revoke its power. Slow down. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and say No. It may help to visualize a strong and wise part of yourself gently taking your critic down off of a stage or off of its soapbox.

• Cultivate love and respect toward yourself. How would you treat someone you loved and respected deeply? As often as possible, try treating yourself this way, especially in moments of vulnerability.
•  Mentor.
  You can create a positive, supportive aspect of yourself which I call the Inner Champion. It will guide you in your work with your Inner Critic and develop your positive capacities in your life. It can be drawn from positive experiences and reflections you have had in the past or inspiration from mythology, literature or modern culture.

                 The Inner Champion:

1. Sounds like the voice of a good mom that reminds you of your value and capabilities. It encourages you to take reasonable risks to gain what you desire and deserve.
2. Has the courage to take a stand when necessary with the Inner Critic and tell it to leave you alone.
3. Helps you develop a step-by-step plan for achieving what you want.
4. Provides nurturance and care for the fragile parts of us that are ultimately being protected by the Inner Critic.